Oh Jason!

Sometimes, it's not my kids who really said that....

While I as at my office, Jason called me from home a few weeks ago....We were talking about the kid's schedules as he was picking up toys in the great room...

All of the sudden, he shouts, "HOLY CRAP!!!!!" - with the inflection of someone who just found a dead body stuffed in a closet.

Scared, I asked him what was going on.

"Someone wrote 'Julia Ennis" on the ottoman in green crayon!" - like a mystery killer was on the loose.

Really, Jason? Who do you think? My best guess is...Julia Ennis?

Made me laugh...What a goofball!

2010 Top Ten

So maybe it's a little cliche to do a "Top 10" for the year on New Year's Eve, but I hope to have this blog to look back at parts of my life and hope whatever I've written brings back memories or lessons learned I have most-likely forgotten years from now.....So in no particular order....

10. I got to spend 7 months as a full time stay at home mom for the first time ever! It was so fun and rewarding and oh, how I miss being with my kids all day. We went to the zoo, Kings Island, parks, pools, and more - but even lazy days at home were wonderful. I can't wait to be back with them again this spring.

9. Prayer....I learned not to pray to ask God to change His ways, but for Him to change my ways to His. This past year I, along with hundreds - no, thousands - of people all over the world begged God to heal our friend Mary Ann. She passed away in May leaving a huge hole in the lives of those I love - and left me questioning the purpose of asking God for anything if He's going to do what He wants anyway. But prayer is not about getting what we want, is it? It's about learning who God is and making Him part of our lives. I know she is missed everyday, but would want those missing her to keep prayer at the forefront or their lives....

8. "Taming the Spirited Child" - a book my mother-in-law gave me as I found myself a little desparate to reign in my sweet Julia girl. She is so much like me and going head to head with her was going nowhere. If your kid is strong-willed, check it out.

7. Jason and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary. I cannot believe we've been married that long. He remains my best friend and love of my life.

6. On a lighter note....We decided we had had enough of our horrible, drywall eating, knappy dog Spanky and sent his furry behind to the pound. You can judge me all you want, but getting rid of him ranks not only in the top ten of my year, but the top ten of my life!

5. In May, we took a trip to Destin, Fl. It was a perfect get away for the 4 of us. Julia and Josh are both fishes - loving the water. We had fun combing the beach for crabs and jellyfish (no, we didn't touch them!).

4. Little House on the Prairie with Julia....We probably have every episode DVR'd and I absolutely love how much she loves it. During Joshua's nap, we'd be on the couch giggling as Laura pushed Nellie down the hill in her wheel chair or as Mrs. Oleson walked around at night in her green face cream. Great memories....

3. Potty-training Josh. I hate changing diapers - and not having a pay check I hated buying them. So soon after his 2nd birthday, we hopped on the "Stay dry" wagon with some-what easy success considering he's a boy. I'm so happy it's over!

2. Going back to work...Hmmmm...While I miss my children desparately, I have to admit my job is fun and the people I work with are great. If I have to have to work, this is totally the place I want to be!

1. I know I've devoted many a post to our baby on the way - but what can top adding a new little guy to the family?

Hope you have a wonderful New Year!

If You Really Knew Me...

...You'd know that about 5 minutes after I posted my last post I called my friend Lee at a local women's center to schedule a 3D/4D ultrasound and find out if I have a Miss Baby or Mr. Baby....Why I thought I had a prayer to make to 40 weeks I do not know....Where is my self-awareness? Gone, I guess.

We had the ultrasound last Wednesday, but waited until Christmas to tell everyone the fun news....

We had just finished opening presents at my parent's house when I pulled out a surprise present for Julia telling her that Mommy and Daddy got a new picture of the baby and the present inside would tell her if it was a baby boy or a baby girl.

She popped off the top of the gold star box and pulled out....

a LITTLE BROTHER bib!

Everyone cheered/high-fived, etc. It was fun :)

So I'm having a little remorse proclaiming my Team Pink-ness, but you need to know my pinkness came from wanting a sister for Julia and definitely not from not wanting another sweet baby boy. We are truly very excited to add another little man to our family. Julia remains the princess on the pedestal and my dad will need to get two carts when golfing in about 10 years or so...No, those boys can walk...It's good excercise....

Anywho, now we have moved on the what are we going to name this little guy...I'm open to suggestions as long as your open to "Hellz no" being my reply if appropriate. Seriously, we struggling with this one! Thankfully, we have some time.....

3rd Time's a .......Hmmmm?

So if you haven't heard (or read previous post) - Yes! We are having another baby! We've known for some time now, so the reality is gradually sinking in...despite my countless blood draws, 2 extra dr. appts., 3 ultrasounds, constant nausea, random barfing, bedtime at 8:30pm and general crankiness with the world.

Aside from that, we are just so excited! Julia is certain it is a girl to be named Charlotte (after Charlotte's Web) or Sophia (after idk) - but she informed me sweetly that if God gives us another boy that it'd be ok. Joshua is completely and understandably oblivious on how his world is about to get rocked, though I am confident that he, being the lover-boy he is, is going to be a great big bro.

I hate to admit it, but I'm totally on Team Pink! Joshua is the sweetest, most wonderful little boy God ever created (I'm biased, I know) - but he has a built in older bro in the form of his fun cousin Owen, and a built in BFF in the form of his little cousin (who is about as sweet as himself) Griffin. Three grandsons on my side also gives my dad a perfect 4-some to take golfing.

This leaves Julia - the lone princess - which does have some perks, but growing up with 3 sisters, I am a firm believer that every girl needs a sister. She does have wonderful cousins on Jason's side who live out of the area, which makes holidays and get togethers so fun, but oh how I would love for her to have a sister to grow up with!

So this brings me to the issue of "Do we find out???"

We have all the boy things we need and all the girl things we need, so preparation is minimal. No need to read up on taking care of circumcisions or girlie parts. We have the basics covered. I've heard from those who waited that it is one of life's greatest surprises - which I agree, but isn't it a fun surprise at 20 weeks, too?

I'm about 80% sure we will find out, but as this is most-likely (or as Jason would say "definitely") our last baby, I can't help but imagine the excitement in the delivery room waiting to find out if it's a boy or a girl (ie Rehearsal Dinner or Wedding :)

Thankfully, we have a little bit of time before deciding to or not to....I'll keep you posted....

Julia Punk'd Josh

So, there's a little practical joke war going on at my office...Somebody taped my cube....Somebody put toner all over one of my co-worker's phone so he ended up with black stuff all over the side of his head (hilarious, hilarious, hilarious) and so on...

I made the mistake of telling Julia....who decided these were great ideas...

Last night, I was telling her stories in her bed while Jason was helping Josh brush his teeth.

From her room, I heard the water running and Josh gagging, spitting, whimpering, and Jason asking him if he's ok over and over again.

I sat up and asked Jason what was going on...and then Julia looked up at me smiling, "Mom, I did something funny."

"What?"

"I put soap all over Joshy's toothbrush," her eyes shining. "Wasn't that a good one?"

I hopped out of her bed just in time to see Josh throw up in the hallway. It was pitiful. His eyes were red as he kept spitting. Jason ran down stairs to get him water.

The soap dispenser said call poison control so I did. Julia was at my side begging me to tell the lady that it was an accident...She really did feel bad not knowing that it would make him sick...

Thankfully, Josh is fine. Hand soap just gives you a tummy ache at most....He fell asleep shortly after with no other issues.

So whatever riff raff shananigans happen at my office will be kept mum at my house from now on...Thank God she doesn't know what toner is!

Thankful x 3

So Thanksgiving is tomorrow and like the rest of the country is doing (or should be doing :), I've been thinking a lot about thankfulness...

...Especially in light of the new addition coming to our family Spring 2011.


Many of you probably don't know that there were several years that Jason and I wondered if we'd ever have children. Growing up, it's one of those things you assume....You know, you get married and have kids (though sometimes not in that order) - but none-the-less, it's something I assumed...blindly assumed.

Three years after throwing out the pill with no baby to show for it, we decided to see a specialist who gave us hope and a very calculated plan -but three months and several painful procedures later - nothing.

They gave us the option of me having surgery (which insurance covered, but required 6 weeks of down time) or starting a "shot" regimen (which was $1,000+ a month that insurance didn't cover).

We decided to take a month off to pray - believing God had a purpose and plan for our lives, but truly having no idea what it was!

It was that month off that Julia, our sweet miracle, came to be.

The years before she came into our lives, I felt tested like I've never been tested before. I knew God knew our heart's desire, but His silence to it was confusing. Yet it was in that silence I found myself desparate to know Him more. If He was going to be quiet, I wasn't. I grew more as a Believer and a person more in those years than I had ever before.

During this time, I had to learn how to be thankful despite not getting my way - something I had never really had to do and a lesson I have tried to apply in every dark circumstance I've encountered since...."Give thanks in everything" took on a whole new meaning and was not something that came easily to me, but I knew it was a place I needed to be and I got there....after a lot of kicking and screaming and reflection and truth-searching.

So here I am sitting 6 years since seeing those beautiful pink lines telling me God finally said "yes!" and I am overwhelmed to the point of it almost being unthinkable that we will be a family of 5. I am grateful beyond measure for the gifts in my life. Even on the hardest days, I go to bed smiling amazed at God's goodness to me and my family.

I share this story to share my belief in God's faithfulness, not to broadcast how blessed I think I am...I know many people still waiting for their "Yes!" - and I hope my story brings you hope and confidence in what God is doing in your life....

Have a very Happy Thanksgiving and I trust this season you, too, find yourself thankful for everything He sends your way....

Like Lazarus...

Did I ever tell you that we announced our pregnancy with Julia at my sister Joanna's birthday only to have Julia be born a few days before her high school graduation? I hope it didn't take any wind out of her sails on her special days....

So on the afternoon of September 24 when I took a HPT that was positive I kind of laughed at the irony knowing my sister Grace was getting engaged that night! Being early in the pregnany as I was (and from sad experiences before), we decided to keep this little surprise to ourselves for a little bit...

I called the dr. and asked for a beta HCG blood test where they draw 2 days apart and look for an increase in your levels. My first draw was on a Tuesday and second was on Thursday.

Anxious to hear the results, I called the dr office after my Thursday lab to see what the starting numbers were. The little old nurse had to look it up on the website and after a few minutes came back and said, "I don't know the context of the results, but your HCG is negative and your progesterone is 0.1." I told her that I was hoping to be pregnant, but I guess this wasn't our time. I hung up very, very sad thinking "why did I even go get the second lab work done?"

We hadn't told our families and I was going back and forth about ever telling them. Why make them sad? I didn't need any pity and with Grace getting married there was so much happiness going around. I didn't feel the need to damper any of it...

On October 4th, 5 days after hearing the bad news, I was sitting at my desk on my first day back to work since having the summer off when I got a call from the dr. office. They had my second results. Again, I was thinking what does it matter....until the nurse on the line said, "The doctor looked at your HCG numbers. They went from 46 to 126 and he is pleased with the increase...."

I stopped her. "Ma'am, I spoke to a nurse on Thursday. She said my test was negative. She said I had no HCG levels....Are you sure you are talking to the right person? "

Silence.

"Let me bring up the website and double check."

...and I waited for 3 minutes on hold...

"Rachel, I looked it over and had my manager look it over and you are pregnant. These are your results - no doubt about it."

Like Lazarus coming back days later...The little life I grieved instantly reappeared in my heart...

Needless to say, I was speechless sitting in my little cube. The nurse went on how they wanted me to get one more HCG draw (which came back great) and wanted me to schedule my first OB appt.

So this past Monday Jason and I got to see Baby E #3's heartbeat flickering away on the ultrasound screen....I'm swinging from absolute delight to absolute terror (being outnumbered freaks me out) to absolute nausea...

Still, so thankful to God how He's growing our family.....Here's to a much less eventful 7 months or so! :)

ps: If you are wondering if I'm P.O'd at my doctor's office, I'm not. It was a ridiculous mistake, but an honest one. No one was hurt and if anything, it has led me to trust God in ways I never gave thought to before....He is the giver of life - not medicine, HCG levels, or even us. Worry, doubt and fear should have no control over me....and I'm using this little blessing as my little reminder. :)