So on the afternoon of September 24 when I took a HPT that was positive I kind of laughed at the irony knowing my sister Grace was getting engaged that night! Being early in the pregnany as I was (and from sad experiences before), we decided to keep this little surprise to ourselves for a little bit...
I called the dr. and asked for a beta HCG blood test where they draw 2 days apart and look for an increase in your levels. My first draw was on a Tuesday and second was on Thursday.
Anxious to hear the results, I called the dr office after my Thursday lab to see what the starting numbers were. The little old nurse had to look it up on the website and after a few minutes came back and said, "I don't know the context of the results, but your HCG is negative and your progesterone is 0.1." I told her that I was hoping to be pregnant, but I guess this wasn't our time. I hung up very, very sad thinking "why did I even go get the second lab work done?"
We hadn't told our families and I was going back and forth about ever telling them. Why make them sad? I didn't need any pity and with Grace getting married there was so much happiness going around. I didn't feel the need to damper any of it...
On October 4th, 5 days after hearing the bad news, I was sitting at my desk on my first day back to work since having the summer off when I got a call from the dr. office. They had my second results. Again, I was thinking what does it matter....until the nurse on the line said, "The doctor looked at your HCG numbers. They went from 46 to 126 and he is pleased with the increase...."
I stopped her. "Ma'am, I spoke to a nurse on Thursday. She said my test was negative. She said I had no HCG levels....Are you sure you are talking to the right person? "
Silence.
"Let me bring up the website and double check."
...and I waited for 3 minutes on hold...
"Rachel, I looked it over and had my manager look it over and you are pregnant. These are your results - no doubt about it."
Like Lazarus coming back days later...The little life I grieved instantly reappeared in my heart...
Needless to say, I was speechless sitting in my little cube. The nurse went on how they wanted me to get one more HCG draw (which came back great) and wanted me to schedule my first OB appt.
So this past Monday Jason and I got to see Baby E #3's heartbeat flickering away on the ultrasound screen....I'm swinging from absolute delight to absolute terror (being outnumbered freaks me out) to absolute nausea...
Still, so thankful to God how He's growing our family.....Here's to a much less eventful 7 months or so! :)
ps: If you are wondering if I'm P.O'd at my doctor's office, I'm not. It was a ridiculous mistake, but an honest one. No one was hurt and if anything, it has led me to trust God in ways I never gave thought to before....He is the giver of life - not medicine, HCG levels, or even us. Worry, doubt and fear should have no control over me....and I'm using this little blessing as my little reminder. :)
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