If God Txt the 10 Commandments

LOL just saw this and thought someone else might get a kick out of it


1. no1 b4 me. srsly.

2. dnt wrshp pix/idols

3. no omg's

4. no wrk on w/end ...(sat .........4 now; sun l8r)

5. pos ok - ur m&d r cool

6. dnt kill ppl

7. :-X only w/ m8

8. ...dnt steal

9. dnt lie re: bf

10. dnt ogle ur bf's m8. or ox. or dnkey.

Found on: http://eaglesnest76.blogspot.com/

Bake Day "#2"

So, my sister Elizabeth and I had a bake day yesterday.

After all the cookies were cooked and buckeyes were dipped, I decided to start cleaning up the mess our 4, 2, and 1 yr old had made while we were in the kitchen.

As I was putting the cushion back on the couch, I saw a little chocolate chip on the seat. Not wanting a stain on my light khaki couch, I casually popped it in my mouth.

0.1 millisecond later, I realized it was not a chocolate chip, but a left over speck of crap my dog must have left from his furry behind!!!!

I spat it out on the carpet, threw myself hysterically onto the arm of the couch, crying, laughing, screaming...while my sister is calling everyone and their mother giving them a play by play of my demise...

I grabbed the closest cleaning product, which happened to be my lemon-scented antibacterial hand foam, and shot it in my mouth, with hot/cold/hot/cold water and then a few shots of chloroseptic. If I was thinking logically, I would have taken a few shots of rum we have stashed in the back of the pantry...that would have at least taken the edge off the trauma of the situation.

Today, after countless teeth-brushings, I am beginning to feel a little less defiled and a little less contaminated, but I can't help but think it'll be a very long time before life is back to normal.

So no "my kid really said that" in this post...Just my mom saying, "My kid really ate that" with her hand over her mouth trying to hide the laughing.

To Death

While I could be happy my child really didn't say this, part of me finds this little snip-it so hilarious, I really wish she had....

Several months ago, I offered to watch the children of a good friend while her father was having serious health issues. They are 3 of the cutest little kids you can imagine - a big brother and two sisters....

After the second day, the novelty of new friends had worn out. I packed all 5 (her 3 + my 2) in the van and headed to the mall's indoor playground.

Immediately, some child-bickering lit up. Julia vs. the others, and after listening in for a few minutes, I silently joined the "others" team - Julia was being a stinker.

After 5 min of who's better/faster/bigger/taller, the little 3 year perched up, squinted her eyes and gave Julia a Bible-beatin'-talkin'-to.

"If you are mean," she preached emphatically, "Jesus takes you to Death!"

Then there was silence.

Months later and I'm still laughing.....

Toilet Paper Negotiator

Like most mothers of toddlers, having to use the restroom is a God-given break for sanity, privacy, regrouping, etc. That 90 sec to do what I gots to do sometimes is all I need to get back in the game til Jason gets home...

One particular day, I must have been so ready to escape the chaos, that I went into the bathroom, sat down, started to *tinkle* before I realized there was no toilet paper...ugh.

Peaking outside the door, I could see little Julia sitting so quietly (which she was NOT doing beforehand) on the love seat watching tv.

"Julia, sweetie, would you mind getting Mommy a napkin from the table please? Silly mommy doesn't have any toilet paper." I playfully asked her.

"No, Mommy. I'm watching my shows" came the cold reply w/out even looking at me.

"Julia...Mommy has no toilet paper...please, can you help me out?"

"No, I can't."

From here my playfulness changed into desperation....

"Julia, pa-lease bring me a napkin! I'll give you 3 M&Ms :) "

"4 M&M's" she demanded obviously knowing I was stuck.

Desperation turned to anger...

"Julia Kalyce Ennis, You go right now and bring me a napkin, young lady!"

Finally she looked at me and with a little head-shaking attitude upped the ante, "5 M&Ms."

Yes, my child really said that.

Anger turned to laughter....

"Fine" I relented, just happy to be free.

Laughter turned to pride - My little negotiator!

Outted at the Dentist

Julia and I recently took her semi-annual trip to the dentist. Her name is Dr. Jody Wright of Wright Smiles Pediatric Dentistry in Springboro, Ohio.... and she is delightful. So much, that Julia is always asking for the countdown of when she gets to go next - awesome, I know!

This visit started out typical. Julia sat back in her chair like a big girl and waited for the hygienist to get her gear together...

All of the sudden Julia jumps up, turns around and smiles really big at the lady.

"Can I tell you something?" Julia asks with eyes sparkling.

"Sure."

"I just went to Myrtle Beach and I didn't brush my teeth for a week!"

Yes, my child really said that.

Sweet Tea Salvation

Sweet tea became sweeter this past weekend....

Early in the summer, Julia and I started a little mother/daughter tradition of drinking sweet tea on the porch every few days. We would chat about what we had been doing, what we had planned and even one night, we swatted bats that were flying around our house (so weird, I know, but for a 4 yr old, it was hilarious).

Sweet Tea on the porch has often been the highlight of my day. Having a busy, high energy 4 yr old girl sit down for 15 minutes of conversation is rare, let me tell you, if not miraculous.

Last Saturday, after a busy day of shopping, a birthday party and cookout, Julia and I sat watching the sun go down with sweet tea in hand....Our conversation led to heaven. She asked me if there would be toys or stores or our house up there and I answered as best as I could. I mean, I wanted her to look forward to the day without scaring the bajeebies out of her lest Barbie did not make St. Pete's list.

She got a little quiet and finally asked me, "Why did Jesus have to die on a cross?" It was the question of all questions for my little girl to ask - and I know I fumbled through my attempt of making the most beautiful story ever told simple for her to understand. I told her He had to die as a punishment for all the bad things we do. If we tell God we are sorry for all the naughty things we have done and believe in our hearts that Jesus is God's Son, we go to Heaven to be with Him forever... {{paraphrased, sort of}}

She looked up thoughtfully and said, "I want to do that" - -I told her she just had to tell God.

She closed her eyes so tight, put her hands together and prayed, "Dear God, Jesus and Mary"

(I then interrupted to let her know she didn't need to tell Mary..."It's His mother, she should know" was Julia's response...fine with me as I'm tearing up a bit)

"Dear God, Jesus and Mary, I am sorry for doing bad things and want Jesus to come in my heart because He's God's son. Amen"

It was one of the most precious moments of my life....Sweet tea on the porch on a summer night and my sweet Julia in God's hands....

I realize she is so young and know there are going to many questions and maybe not many answers, but such innocence wanting to be with her Creator and wanting the Savior of her soul close inspires me and motivates me to do the same on deeper levels.

Take away my home, cars, job, and any other material, I am still the richest momma in the world after this night and every night....

Yes, my child really said this.