The Making of a Good Story

While on a plane home from Dallas a few weeks ago, I started re-reading Kelle Hampton's book "Bloom" -

a gorgeous memoir of the days leading up to and the year after the birth of her second daughter, Nella, who was born with Down Syndrome. The diagnosis after Nella was born was a complete shock and Kelle holds nothing back in telling us the deep, dark pain she felt that day and even more so that first night. It's painful, yet beautiful. It's brutal and honest. It's heart wrenching and healing.

There's a part in the book where she's packing up her belongings to go home and she sees the clothes she wore to the hospital. She laments how they represented all her happiness while pregnant and while blissfully ignorant of what was coming. To her, that bag of maternity clothes was her life before truth was unleashed.

Today, April 13, I feel a tiny glimpse of what she was talking about. April 13, to me, represents a last day of "happy and oblivious" before my little was rocked.

Two years ago today, I was 31 weeks and 4 days pregnant. After story time at our church, I stopped at a consignment shop and found a rose petal cottage playhouse to give to Julia. She had a mini-field trip to the Sugarcreek Reserve that I had volunteered to chaperone, so after loading the house into the van, Joshua and I went to the school to pick her up. While at the reserve, Julia was....being Julia. She wasn't into what the class was doing and several times I had to corral her back to the group. Thank God, it was only a 45 min ordeal. Afterwards, hoping to wear them out even more for the day, I took them to the Bellbrook park to play while I sat swollen in the sun. I was so tired, but waddled my way to the benches to sit while Julia and Joshua ran around for a bit.

We hit the Ice Cream Shack for cones and a chocolate malt after playtime and then headed home.

I remember putting my feet up on the loveseat amazed at how puffy they were. I knew I didn't feel good, but was well aware from my two babies before, the third trimester doesn't feel good.

Long story short, my Seth was born via c-section 3 days later. My "not feeling good" turned into severe pre-eclampsia.

It's funny how so many details of the day before being sent to the hospital are engrained into my memory and most of Seth's birth is hazy to me (thank you, Magnesium Sulfate). I truly remember more of the day before my plans for this baby changed than I do of the day he was born.

Donald Miller writes in "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" that great stories are about sacrifice. Great stories include a struggle.

So, maybe I recall that day so well because in my mind, April 13 sets the stage for a great story...Because we all know great stories begin with the calm before the storm. The peace before the conflict. The coming struggle a character doesn't see, but will hopefully be better and stronger for it....hopefully....I know in my case, more thankful than ever.

As my sweet baby Seth's 2nd birthday approaches, I am completely overwhelmed with gratitude for his life and progress. That 3 lb 8.6 oz preemie has turned into a bright, curious, chatty, busy toddler who loves his toys, books, family and friends.

I look at him and hold him so proud of his story and as I have said before, so incredibly honored to be in the front row of his beautiful life.

World Prematurity Day, November 17, 2012

Nineteen months ago, I'm pretty sure I related the word "preemie" mostly to Cabbage Patch Babies and I associated the March of Dimes with helping at-risk mothers get off drugs and alcohol - having no idea the roller coaster of a birth experience I was in for....and how uninformed I really was....

My sweet baby Seth was a miracle from the beginning. Since those two pink lines on the pregnancy test appeared, I had to force myself daily give my fears to God and believe that the life inside me was in His hands.

When he was born via c-section at 32 weeks due to my diagnosis of severe pre-eclampsia and weighing only 3 lbs. 8 oz., I was convinced he would never be "normal" and in my drug induced physical/mental state, I was convinced I was never going to be able to be the mom he needed me to be. My family read so many congratulations coming in from Facebook and I honestly was so confused as to why people were congratulating me. I was scared and swollen. I hurt. I couldn't lift my head to see, let alone stretch out my hand to touch, my tiny newborn baby. Who celebrates that?

What I didn't know at the time that I truly believe would have relieved at least some of my fears, was the amazing work March of Dimes had been doing for years to not only prevent pre-maturity, but also to develop life-saving and quality of life-enhancing protocols that touch virtually every baby born in the United States. They are so much more than working to prevent birth defects....so much more.

They have dedicated a website to connect parents who are going through life in the NICU - a site I wish I had known about during Seth's 26 days in the NICU and a site I try to promote whenever I can. It was such a lonely time for me emotionally. I have an amazing family who was there for us the entire time. My parents even took our kids on their anniversary trip to Charleston, SC so Jason and I could be with Seth more while I was healing. Still, having no one to relate to was hard. I didn't know my fears were normal. I didn't know what questions to ask or even what to google (ha!). Since finding this site, I've made it a point to check in regularly to reach out to anyone who shares that their baby is still in the hospital. I want everyone to know that they are not alone and that amazing people they will never know are working around the clock to help their babies come home as healthy as possible.

Those of you who know our Seth, know how thankful we are that at almost 19 months old, he has caught up to his actual age in all areas. It's a gift we will never take for granted. His broad smile like his daddy's and bright blue Estepp-side eyes shine joy and love in my life everyday - and most nights, too! (Please sleep soon, baby boy!)

Tomorrow is World Prematurity Day. I'm celebrating by holding my sweet Seth a little tighter, if he'll sit still long enough, and by saying a prayer for families and babies everywhere who are walking the path my family walked - that they will be blessed with good health, strength and support.