Yes, Julia, There is a Jesus...

I do love Santa. I promise I love Jesus more, but I won't lie and say that the magic of Santa isn't fun for me now that I have kids of my own. I love seeing little minds dreaming up ways he gets to every house in one night. I love tracking him on the NORAD website Christmas Eve. I love the smiles and giggles of my children when they pass him at the mall. I love the movies and songs and stories and snowglobes and lights... I love it all.

Jason and I have been on the same page, though, that we would never lie about him. We know people who refuse to play Santa because it's "deceitful" and I know people who will lie through their teeth so their children learn the truth from their own spouse. So, our middle-of-the-road game plan was to answer honestly. Is Santa real? Why, yes he is (leaving out the part that he's your daddy and my daddy and all the daddies before them). It worked for us. Kind of a grey area, but my conscience felt clean enough.

Until Julia, a few months ago, pinned me.

"Mom, is Dad Santa Claus?"

The question we couldn't deny... "Yes," I answered nervous to what her response would be, proud she figured it out and completely oblivious to the implications.

"So what about the Easter Bunny? Is he Dad? Is he fake, too?" Yep.

"The Tooth Fairy? Fake? Huh, Mom, huh?" Yep. Fake.

"And then what about JESUS?" My jaw dropped. Heart stopped. Soul cringed.

"Jesus. Mom, is He fake, too?"

Did we just spend the past 7 years setting our baby up to question the existence of sweet Baby Jesus just so we could get a cute picture of her on the lap of a strange fat man with a beard? Damn those secular books and songs and lights that I loved so much!

But it dawned on me quickly that this question was a good one - one we all need to ask at one point or another regardless of Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc. Is Jesus real?

I got to anwer her who Jesus is at a point where she not only wanted/needed to know - she was demanding to know. It was a rare opportunity, to say the least, with my busy little lady.

My Christian school upbringing paid off in 4 minutes or less in a mini-sermon filled with Truth I've been taught and Truth I have seen and lived. Her dear life being one of them. It was precious -not perfect - but precious just the same.

Yes, Julia, there is a Jesus. He came as a baby to love you more than you can ever imagine bringing a gift Santa could never give worth more than a Tooth Fairy will ever leave and sweeter than the Easter Bunny, for sure. :)

Merry Christmas from the Ennis Fam 5!

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World Prematurity Day, November 17, 2012

Nineteen months ago, I'm pretty sure I related the word "preemie" mostly to Cabbage Patch Babies and I associated the March of Dimes with helping at-risk mothers get off drugs and alcohol - having no idea the roller coaster of a birth experience I was in for....and how uninformed I really was....

My sweet baby Seth was a miracle from the beginning. Since those two pink lines on the pregnancy test appeared, I had to force myself daily give my fears to God and believe that the life inside me was in His hands.

When he was born via c-section at 32 weeks due to my diagnosis of severe pre-eclampsia and weighing only 3 lbs. 8 oz., I was convinced he would never be "normal" and in my drug induced physical/mental state, I was convinced I was never going to be able to be the mom he needed me to be. My family read so many congratulations coming in from Facebook and I honestly was so confused as to why people were congratulating me. I was scared and swollen. I hurt. I couldn't lift my head to see, let alone stretch out my hand to touch, my tiny newborn baby. Who celebrates that?

What I didn't know at the time that I truly believe would have relieved at least some of my fears, was the amazing work March of Dimes had been doing for years to not only prevent pre-maturity, but also to develop life-saving and quality of life-enhancing protocols that touch virtually every baby born in the United States. They are so much more than working to prevent birth defects....so much more.

They have dedicated a website to connect parents who are going through life in the NICU - a site I wish I had known about during Seth's 26 days in the NICU and a site I try to promote whenever I can. It was such a lonely time for me emotionally. I have an amazing family who was there for us the entire time. My parents even took our kids on their anniversary trip to Charleston, SC so Jason and I could be with Seth more while I was healing. Still, having no one to relate to was hard. I didn't know my fears were normal. I didn't know what questions to ask or even what to google (ha!). Since finding this site, I've made it a point to check in regularly to reach out to anyone who shares that their baby is still in the hospital. I want everyone to know that they are not alone and that amazing people they will never know are working around the clock to help their babies come home as healthy as possible.

Those of you who know our Seth, know how thankful we are that at almost 19 months old, he has caught up to his actual age in all areas. It's a gift we will never take for granted. His broad smile like his daddy's and bright blue Estepp-side eyes shine joy and love in my life everyday - and most nights, too! (Please sleep soon, baby boy!)

Tomorrow is World Prematurity Day. I'm celebrating by holding my sweet Seth a little tighter, if he'll sit still long enough, and by saying a prayer for families and babies everywhere who are walking the path my family walked - that they will be blessed with good health, strength and support.

Maybe I Should Change....

.... the title of my blog to "The Julia Saga."

((and I'm really hoping that and laughing prematurely if anyone thinks my title was a political **thing**))

My family, friends, and random acquaintances all know I'm conservative. I value limited govenment, fiscally and socially. I believe in a place where the beauty of giving is giving unforced. I put a lot of weight in hard work being rewarded and hand outs being temporary help, not a lifestyle to settle for. :)

Julia.... This girl just wants to win. She digs her heals in whatever issue is at hand and could be one of the worst winners and sorest losers I have ever encountered.

So, this morning, the thought of telling her the outcome of the Presidential election kind of made me shudder. We had been to see Mitt Romney when he came to our town. She held up his signs. Wore his button proudly and boo'd the name of Obama any chance she got (except when around my family knowing their die-hard Romney-ness, she loved sparking a debate).

She went with me to vote and then stayed up last night as long as her tired eyes would let her...waiting to see if Romney she won.

I walked into her room about 6:30am. I saw her lying in the dark, eyes wide open and sucking her thumb.

"Mitt Romney lost, didn't he?" first words out of her mouth staring at the ceiling.

"Yeah....but how did you know?"

"I could feel it. I just knew...But the Purple and Blue Unicorns won at school yesterday, so it's ok. I still win."

Talk about anti-climatic. But I'll take anti-climatic over its antonym anyday with this girl. Ha!

That Tomorrow Needed Me

Telling Julia, "Girl, you will rock this!" came.... The very next day....

The day after I jumped off the cliff of impatience, my girl (along with all the kids in her little, but amazing school) was sent home with a letter telling the parents that Mrs. P (Julia's teacher) was resigning. Rather abruptly resigning, at that.

I won't go into all the details being I don't really know all the details, but regardless of why, Mrs. P's departure devestated Julia. We told her gently and cheered that a new teacher was ready to take over on Monday and everything was going to be great!

"Julia, you will rock this! This new teacher will love you!"

Ah, the weight of guilt from the day before being lifted ever so slightly and ever so healing... Such is the timing of God, I believe.....

Still, there were tears.... a lot of tears... a lot of "whys?"..... a lot of sniffles....

But there were hugs and cuddles and this momma telling her girl that changes are great adventures and can totally be God's blessings in disguise if you let them. I met her doubts with confidence, no cheapening of her feelings nor writing off her insecurities.

The next morning brought more of the same. Crying. Pouting. Vowing never to return. Etc. Etc. I even wrote her school prinicpal warning her that my darling Julia might need a little more love and time to embrace this shake to her universe....

I know big picture-wise, she'll be fine. I know when I see her today, she'll tell me how her new teacher is freaking awesome (tho I tell her not to say freaking). I'm sure she won't even remember me being a complete jerk one day and diving into redemption the next.... But I will. I'll be thankful I screwed up the costume scene to be ready for the next little girl crisis that evolved.

It's a good feeling...being ready as a mom...if even just once. :)

I Missed It Today....

It's been a rough week with my Julia. She's been slow to do what she needs to do and I have been quick to jump on her for the tasks she has either forgotten or refused or taken her sweet time with.

It's only Wednesday, but she has left the house crying/sobbing over something all three days. "Something" being a myriad of not doing what she was told topped off with me losing my patience and snapping at her. Oh and I have been mean. A kind of meaness that does not make me proud of myself no matter how deserving I think my meaness was.

And this morning. Worse.

A few weeks ago, all 5 of us went to Target to pick out Halloween costumes. Having not been allowed to Trick or Treat as a child, this little tradition of ours makes up for some of the fun I know I missed growing up. Choosing what fun (not scary/evil) character to dress my little babies as is so fun!

After not finding any costume and desparate to walk out of Target with something, she decided to choose real clothes from the Disney Line and be CeCe from her favorite show "Shake It Up". Case closed -and closed rather cutely....

Except CeCe has big red hair and I needed to get a big red wig.

Last night, we found an adult-sized red wig at Kroger and Julia thought it was acceptable....You know, these decisions must have the 7 yr old girl's approval.

This morning all was well. Wig was in place - kind of itchy - but we worked that out and headed to school.

We stepped one foot in when panic hit. I could feel it in her hand squeezing mine tighter and tighter as her body slowly shifted to behind mine and as her other hand slid the wig right off her head.

She pulled me to a stop, looked up at me with her round blue eyes now wide with a little girl embarrassment I quickly remembered from so many years ago...

"Mom" she whispered with her thumb in her mouth. "I don't like my costume anymore. Take the wig. I can't do it. Please, don't let anyone see it. Please, Mom."

Instead of saying, "Sweetie, you totally can rock this! You look great. You are CeCe to a tee! Your little friends are going to love it!"

I slithered. I jumped off the cliff of impatience and seethed.

"I paid $5.79 for this wig and you WILL wear it." - Just writing my hateful words chokes me. Not even for what they say, but how I said it. And how I know at that moment she was reaching for my confidence and I smacked back a cheap price tag.

Then I walked out of the school feeling her little presence standing alone in the hallway staring at my back.

It's a bad feeling messing up as a mom. But I'm not writing this to berate myself, but to remind myself of what really matters and how my sweet little Julia is little and needing me to tell her she has what it takes to "rock" whatever she sets her mind to do.

Today, I missed it. But because of today, hopefully tomorrow, I won't.

Joshy in the Middle

I'm the oldest daughter of four and Jason is the youngest of seven. I am controlling, stubborn and have a HUGE  slight tendency to be "my way or the highway." Jason is funny and easy to please. We make a great pair, us two love birds....

But what we don't quite personally understand is....The plight of the middle child - and in our little family... The Plight of Joshua.

This sweet boy is stuck between Princess Julia and Medical Wonder Seth. Julia and her budding gymnastics career and "I've been hospitalized in my almost 18 mths more than all my grandparent's combined" Seth.

So today, I've decided to dedicate a whole post (which at the rate I'm posting is pretty much 10-20% of my posts for the year) to my darling middle child Joshua and the smart, sweet, goofy kid he is.

He loves all things boy. All things farts. All things Mario. And all things family. He cries when it's not a family day. He welcomes me home each day like he hasn't seen me in years. He loves cookies and candy and will always ask for two more for Julia and Seth. He lives on popcicles and always makes sure his buddies have one or two, too. He thanks Jesus (or Je-jus) for his family and teachers everyday with a prayer that would make athiests believe. Joey Votto is his favorite athlete and he will circle the ball park and jump rows to meet Mr. Red Legs if that's what it takes. His eyes disappear when he smiles and his cheeks couldn't be more kissable. And reading this makes me tear up because I just love this boy so, so much.

I could go on and on...but want to share my favorite Joshy story of the year:

A new halloween costume magazine had just come in the mail. Josh grabbed it as we hopped in the car to go pick Julia up from school. He's in the back telling me wants to be a Transformer. No, a Power Ranger. No, Batman. No, DJ Lance. Then, it got quiet. I looked in the rearview mirror as he said, "Mommy, I don't want to be the lady with the nipples."

"Um, what did you say, sweet boy?"

"I don't want to be the lady with the nipples. Maybe you could be the lady with the nipples?"

Holy Frijoles! What kind of p*rno magazine did I just send my kid to the back of the van with?

I pull into the first parking lot I found demanding he bring that magazine to me.

He opened the page and showed me this:

I laughed for about an hour and then some. No, Joshua, you don't have to be the lady with nipples - and I don't have to feel like I screwed up majorly as a mother today....yet.

Oh how I love my middle child, Joshua. He makes me smile and so thankful God chose me to be his momma.

Heigh-Ho

So I'm back to work...and as every October rolls around, I go through this happy/sad/happy/sad/really sad/so freaking happy circus of emotions realizing that I have to leave my babies every morning...and then realizing I get to leave my babies and this year go to The Greene. My company moved while I was off and I am tha-rilled not to have to drive to downtown Dayton everyday.If you haven't been to The Greene, look it up and you will be jealous. It's gorgeous. It's restaurants. It's shopping in my favorite stores. It's Holy Moses please let me not spend my paycheck before I get home amazing.

Every time October rolls around, too, I get a little reflective. Like, I've been off for 6 months, what did I accomplish? Did I do anything meaningful? I know loving and teaching and keeping my kids alive are important things, but I did I do anything of significance? Right before I left my house today, I looked around. Yes, it was still a mess. Yes, laundry still waiting to be folded. No, I found no magic solvent to organize our mountains of toys. Yes, the basement looks like Hiroshima the day after. No, I never sat the kids around to learn the ABC Bible Verse Book I thought would make them love Jesus more. I guess, aside from the Jesus part, everything else is petty. But still, I am desparate to be purposeful during my time off, and each year feel I missed them mark, if even a little.

Anywho. I've decided to make a happy list today. A list not of the Top 10 Things I'll Miss because that might make me cry. My list today is....

Top 10 Things I Love About Working.

Today is a day I need to think positive - not of the tiny little squishy cheeks I'm missing kissing (see, I'm teary-eyed, let's move on to the happy list now).

1. My girl, Monica. She's a co-worker and friend who has my back and yet keeps it real. She tells me gently when I'm being dumb, laughs when I'm being stupid, and is always up for a cup of coffee. I love her and seeing her everyday is great.

2. Um The Greene. Enough Said.

3. My boss's giggle. I just heard it and remember how cute it is.

4. Listening to Elvis Duran's phone tap on my way to the office. I can't do that with babies in the car and they are so funny.

5. Adult conversation. I've been so deep in  PBS/Disney XD/Mario Bros. world, I have barely noticed there is an election coming up and current events outside of Curious George goes to the MET.

6. My other co-workers. I can honestly say, I like them all. They are pleasent and while not all are cut out for BFF status, I know they are good people and I enjoy getting to know them better each year.

7. A paycheck - heck yeah! A little padding in the budget is some way positive news. Especially after Seth's summer of surgeries and Julia's new love of gymnastics.

8. I love what I do. I was made to buy media. I love the negotiations, the planning, getting results, connecting customers to our franchisees, freaking out on people when things don't go right and having them fix it with 50+ bonus spots. Whatever it is, I love it all.

9. I love what I do and I love growing in what I do. Media changes and staying ahead of the curve is important. Each tax season is so different from the other and as dorky as it sounds, I love doing whatever it takes to get the job done and learning from it.

10. Working makes being off even sweeter. I get sad leaving and going. I smile leaving and going. After these 6 months are over, I dive back into staying at home with a passion. My kids get more kisses and hugs and squeezes than they know what to do with once April hits.

So here's my happy list. I'll probably need to read it a few times a week before I adjust, but it's a good thing - this working thing I do ;). Cheers!

Mother Manifesto'd

It's been one crazy week. Kid crazy. Busy. Stressfull. Tiring. Patience stripping. Just hard. Living in survival mode is taking its toll and sitting down tonight with all three gorgeous babies of mine finally asleep, it's time I write in stone/cyberspace something/anything that I can chant/pray/grasp so when I look back at these "best times of my life" I can say.... I tried... Hence, my Mother Manifesto... Drawn from my tiny perspective of the unimaginable love God has for His children in hope that I reflect even the smallest glimmer...

1. The love I have for my children is spelled S.A.C.R.I.F.I.C.E. I need to come to terms to the reality that I can't have it all, but what I can have, I want it for my children.

2. I want to be so consumed with raising my children that I have no time to critique how you raise yours.

3. I will parent out of confidence in God's plan for my children, not out of fear of mistakes they might make.

4. My home and heart will be safe places for them to share their dreams and worries, their victories and setbacks, their passions and hurts.

5. I will be honest with their hard questions and proactive in protecting them from truths they are not ready for.

6. I will celebrate how God made them by encouraging growth in gifts and growth in weaknesses.

7. I will not define them by their gifts nor weaknesses.

8. I will be slow to anger and give mercy freely - and teach them to do the same.

9. I will discipline to teach not to vent my frustrations or appease onlookers.

10. Love wins. No matter what we say, do, or think. My love for them is constant and unwavering.

11. I will be present in their lives everyday. Be it morning snuggles, lunch box notes, goofy dinner joking, evening walks and/or bedtime talks, my love will be shown through time spent and pure interest shown in their lives.

12. I will tickle, hug, kiss, squish, etc. all.of.the.time.

13. I will work hard to protect their hearts, provide for their creativity, and encourage their security in who they are.

14. I will screw up, but I will show them it's inevitable and show them mistakes can be opportunities to grow.

15. I will pray. Everyday. That they desire to know their Creator, that they grow from all life's experience, that learning never grows old, that they serve with thanksgiving and joy, that they love and know love like I have for them, that they see light in darkness and cling to faith in a harsh world, and that they leave this world more beautiful than when they entered...because of them, I know I will.

I know it's a little reaching and that I've probably missed some things. I know I will fail, but still, having these ridiculously high expectations hopefully will lead to higher achievements. Right?

This Time Last Year pt.1

Today, I got to see my three sweet babies wide-eyed looking at their Easter baskets. Little toys Josh said were "Awesome" and Julia claimed as "Cool" made me smile, but nothing touched me more than my sweet Seth jumping toward his little stuffed green frog tucked into his green and blue tin Easter basket.... As I remembered Easter last year...

Seth was 8 days old, not even 4 lbs, snuggled in in an isolette with a PICC line at the NICU. My parents took the big kids to church so Jason and I could visit Seth in peace (keeping a 5 and 2 yr old quiet in a hospital room is impossible). We stopped by Target on the way to the hospital to pick up something for his first Easter, but Target was closed. So we drove to Barnes & Nobles and bought him "Tiny Bear's Bible" seemingly appropriate for our tiny bear.

The hospital was very quiet as I learned it always is on Sundays. We walked in to the Special Care Nursery, washed our hands for the designated 30 sec., read our security code from my still attached hospital band to the check in lady, and walked into our sweet Seth's room. The room was always dark and peaceful minimizing stimulation. His preemie brain was still developing as he still should have been in the darkness of me for 7 more weeks at this point.

He was sleeping on his tummy with his NG tube protruding out of his small nose. Oxygen, heart rate and respiration monitors flashed "All is well" numbers above him which always was a relief. He'd been given stable reports and we knew if anything odd had happened at night, we would have been called, but still, I always held my breath a little waiting to walk in and see he stats.

I was still getting used to the fact he was born and even that he was mine. He seemed a little foreign to me. I wasn't ready for him to be here just as he wasn't ready to come out. I didn't have the time I needed or wanted to get to know his kicks, his flips, his hiccups inside me. I was scared he might need special help that I didn't know how to give. Special needs parents are heroes as are their children - I was afraid of not being hero enough to give him all he might need. I felt guilty of doing something to cause this. Did I do too much or not enough? Did I eat too much salt? How stupid could I be to think my blurry vision the day before I went to my dr. appointment was just allergies? Would going in any sooner changed anything? All of that moot, because it was what it was, but the feelings and thoughts were there, overwhelming at times and I kept them to myself convinced if I cracked even a little I'd never get "it" back together...

Along with this fear was an over-powering love. I touched him, held him, stared at him in wonder of his precious life. A life I thought I lost 7 months earlier and now a life that could have quickly been lost to my sickness. He was small and perfect and mine. The fact that he needed more than I could give at the time was strange, but the love I felt was matched with the peace I had knowing he was in God's hands.

While the nurses and doctors did a wonderful job making me feel part of his care, the reality was that I was only there a few hours a day - most of it spent sitting in a rocker looking at him - holding him every chance I could - and every three hours watching someone else change him, feed him via tube and take his temp. Gradually, this changed, but just a week into his life, there were necessary, but emotionally hard measures we had to take to help get him get strong enough to come home.

I'm pretty sure every Easter will be marked with thoughts of Seth's time at the hospital, as this experience is another reminder of God's goodness in my life. As I watch him grow, I am so overwhelmed with gratefulness for his life and excited for all God has in store for him.

10 Weird and Not So Weird Things that Make Me Smile

I have no idea why this random post is being written, except for the fact I was driving on the highway today and started thinking about it....

1. Q-tips. I can barely pass my linen closet without grabbing (or contemplating grabbing) one or two to attack my kid's ears with. Josh and Seth make having kids with clean ears very difficult, so I really need and love Q-tips.

2. Going into the restroom at work and the toilet lid is up. This does NOT mean a male whose mother forgot to teach him manners and how to read has been in there. It means I'm the first one to enter after it's been cleaned. This really makes me happy.

3. Elvis Duran's phone taps. After a crazy morning begging Julia to get dressed, brush her hair, get into the car with her shoes on and without making Josh cry, hearing someone else hit the wall bc some crap has hit the fan makes me smile - and most of the time laugh out loud.

4. The big ass run back of a defensive lineman scoring a touch down. Their burly bodies huffing down the sideline while tiny little receivers bounce off them like pin balls makes my day and makes me miss football season.

5. Forgetting then remembering it's Friday and/or Pay Day!

6. Little old men holding the hand of his little old lady.

7. Josh running to the door as I'm leaving for one more hug and kiss

8. Julia reading to Josh - or anything with Josh that doesn't end with either of them crying or calling each other "butt cheeks" (the new insult of the month at our house - ugh.)

9. Seth making his "MmmmmmmMmmmmm" sounds while eating

10. Other people's pets...because they are not my pets.

So random, but true....

I have NEVER...

I saw a list like this on a blog today and thought it might be fun...except the whole time I felt sorry for this lady...so don't feel bad for me, unless doing so makes you want to fund a much-needed vacation to Cali!

I have NEVER been stung by a bee

I have NEVER ridden in a Limo

I have NEVER been tail-gating

I have NEVER been scuba diving

I have NEVER smoked/seen drugs

I have NEVER been drunk (I'm too much of a control freak)

I have NEVER been to California (the only one in my family)

I have NEVER made home made soup

I have NEVER grilled on a grill

I have NEVER watched Family Guy (hopefully never will)

I have NEVER water-skiid

I have NEVER been to NYC

I have NEVER lived alone

I have NEVER eaten at Melting Pot (my sisters don't believe it, but it's true)

I have NEVER spent more than a night away from my kids (except when having a kid)

I have NEVER liked meatloaf (my aunt ruined it forever years ago)

I have NEVER had a nose ring (but kind of want one)

I have NEVER seen the Godfathers, Tombstone, Rambo, or Vision Quest

I have NEVER changed the weight on my driver's license (and NEVER will :)

I have NEVER said the eff word (after so many years of not saying it, it seems a shame to start now)

I have NEVER seen a Panda Bear (and really want to for some reason)

I have NEVER broken a bone

I have NEVER sold plasma

I have NEVER eaten tofu

That's all I can think of at the moment. Just kind of fun to do :)

The 12 Months of '11

Just a little recap of the crazy year we just had...

Jan - We had found out Baby E #3 was a boy and could not for love or money come up with a name. I was working full-time. Julia was having fun in Kindergarten. Josh was being his sweet self and Jason was venturing into a new career.

Feb - Jason spent a week in St. Louis while I realized the unbelievably exhausting plight of a single mom. I took the kids to the Newport Aquarium by my pregnant self while he was gone. We had so much fun! (but I will never ever do that alone again)

March - March ended with me being done with work just in time to hang out with Julia for her spring break - and Josh, too, of course. We loved waking up with nothing to do, as I was changing gears from working mom of 2 to stay at home mom of 3 - with 11 weeks before Mr. Baby was due.

April - Oh geez, where do I start? Those 11 weeks I thought I had before Mr. Baby would come turned out to be 3 weeks. On April 16 at 1:42pm, Mr. Seth Freeman Ennis was born weighing 3lbs 8.6oz and 16 inches long. He was tiny, yet perfect. The last half of April was spent at the Special Care Nursery loving on this little gift, watching him grow and waiting for the ok that he was ready to come home.

May - Our daily trip(s) to visit Seth came to an end on May 12 - when he was finally discharged. I remember dressing him in his tiny blue preemie outfit, placing him in a car seat that swallowed him up in its straps, saying good-bye to the precious nurses, and heading for home with a smile no one could smack off of me. Later in the month, Jason turned 37 and Julia had a pink hawaiian party for her 6th birthday.

June - Kids went to VBS while I claimed maternity leave for not teaching. :) Loved having a few hours a day to get things done or just cuddle quietly with Baby Seth. Josh turned 3 and had a Spiderman party and Jason and I celebrated 11 yrs of marriage by going out for dinner and shopping.

July - My youngest sister Grace married "Uncle Phil" on July 1st. We had so much fun at the wedding - loved having all of our family together.

Aug - Lots of lazy days enjoying summer. We did King's Island and the Zoo...Swam at Grandpa and Grandma Ennis', Story time at Church...and then Julia started 1st grade.

Sept - After Julia started 1st grade, Joshua started pre-school. He LOVES Miss Liza and all of his friends there.

Oct - I started back to work full-time missing the kids so much I could hardly breathe. I love what I do, who I work with and who I work for, but nothing is better than getting to be Mom all day every day. I'm counting down to the time I get to be 100% Mom again in March. On a sad note, though, I lost my cousin Steve Oct 8...He was one of my best friends growing up and I was so honored to be able to share some of our memories at his funeral service. I hope he knew how special he was...He is missed by so many....

Nov - I turned 32 and am pretty cool with this age. I don't feel young/naive, but I don't feel old/feeble. I can work with this. Over Thanksgiving, the entire Estepp family spent a week on a beach in Florida. Such a wonderful gift to have everyone together. Jason and I took our kids for a day at Magic Kingdom...and it was just that - Magic. Julia and Joshua had a ball seeing their favorite characters and riding the rides. My cousin Krissy and her daughter Peyton joined us, too. Definitely a day we will not forget...Can't wait to go again!

Dec - Busy. Busy. Busy. Julia sang in our churches children's choir, Joshua was still his sweet self - but not wanting to sleep in his own bed, Seth got his first ear infection and Christmas. We woke up early to see what Santa brought, had brunch at Nanna/Poppa's, snacks at Jason's parents and then dinner at my Uncle Steve's. The day is jam packed - exhausting - but wonderful. I can't imagine spending it any other way.

Here's to 2012! After all of the highs and lows of 2011...I'm ready for a new year with new beginnings, aren't you?