Heaven is the Face

A childhood friend of mine was recently told that the baby boy she is carrying cannot, without a saving miracle from God, survive outside the womb. She named her precious son David Nathaniel. As she shares her journey (at www.sufferingbygrace.blogspot.com.), my heart is breaking for her and her family. She writes so candidly of her feelings, her confusion, her questions, and yet through all of her pain, her faith in God remains steadfast to the core.

The latest entry references a new song by Steven Curtis Chapman, who 18 mths ago lost his 5 yr old daughter Maria in a tragic accident at their home. The song is called "Heaven is the Face" and after hearing it for the 15th time in the past 2 days, I'm still finding it hard to express how powerful/wonderful/outrageously devastating/hopeful the lyrics are.

Listening, I think of my father in law, who lost his 5 yr old daughter (Jason's sister) Judy to leukemia. There is pain in his voice each time he talks about her life, her sickness and her death. Thirty five years later, his heart still hurts...A line in the song says "Heaven is a place where she takes my hand and leads me to Your arms" and I can't help but imagine the moment when he sees her again and the joy unspeakable that moment will bring....

I think of the many people I know who are suffering - so many people in my family, my friends, my church, co-workers, strangers, the world...suffering from loss, disease, financial stress, family dysfunction...While this list could wrap the earth many time over, the answer is so clear. There is a place where all the "cancer is gone, every mouth is fed and there is no one left in the orphan's bed."

In my own life, I know I forget about Heaven all too often. Sometimes the fear of being labeled a religious zealot or utter hypocrite distorts my focus, and the pain of leaving those I love behind or the agony of watching those going ahead minimizes my anticipation of the real purpose of this life. We are not home yet, and all the materialistic goals I have fare nothing compared to being the person I am meant to be - hopefully a person who is a bridge of Jesus' gift of love and sacrifice to those I meet.

If you haven't had a chance to hear this song, I encourage you to seek it out. It's a beautiful reminder of all that lies ahead...and of those we will see again...

As Long as You Live Under My Roof....

Julia recently went through a phase where if I came into her room while she was playing and she didn't want me in there, she'd tell me to leave...Well, I would quickly inform her - "I pay for this house and I pay for your room - so I will come in here whenever I need to."

It's a phrase I'm sure most of us have heard sometime in our lives...

Fast forward to today....I'm in Julia's room helping her make her bed and I see her clothes from yesterday laying on the floor. Here's how our conversation went:

"Julia, can you please pick up your clothes?"

"No, mom."

"Julia, this is your room. You need to keep it nice and clean. Please pick up your clothes."

"No, mom," she said with her little sly smile. "You pay for the room, so you can clean it, too."

I know it could have been a teaching moment somehow, but I just started laughing so hard as she skipped out of the room...so I just picked it up myself.

I definitely need to come up with a good defense on this one!

21 Life-Changing Days in My 20's

As the countdown to the big 3-0 is winding down (1 week, 2 days to be exact), I thought I'd, in chronological order, take a blog trip down memory lane on what has been my favorite decade yet!

1. January 1, 2000: I was so relieved y2k didn't kill anyone! Jason was working so I partied at home with my parents, Joanna and Grace :)

2. February 14, 2000: After a nice dinner at the Iron Horse Inn and a Hot fudge Sundae at Friches, Jason blindfolded me and drove me around Centerville for 30 min. or so....He stopped the car, led me into our church, walked me up on stage and asked me to dance as our friend Chris Mackintosh played a song on his guitar. The sanctuary was completely dark except for the spotlight shining down on us. When the song ended, he got down on one knee and asked me to make him the happiest man alive. I said yes and became the happiest woman alive.

3. June 30, 2000: Our wedding day! I wore a huge white tull dress with a corsette top... He wore a black tux with white vest...We promised our lives to each other in front of God, our families and about 300 guests...and I can't imagine life any other way...Jason not only has my heart, he is my heart...

4. March 5, 2001: The day my Grandpa Jerry passed away. It was so sad to say good-bye, but even sadder to watch my mom say good-bye. Her relationship with her dad was a true testament to God's faithfulness and healing.

5. May 31, 2001: We closed on our first house - a little bungalow in Kettering, Ohio - making us official adults.

6. July 27, 2001: My sister Elizabeth and Bryan's wedding day. I finally got a brother,and a great one at that!

7. September 11, 2001: A date we all won't forget, I know. A date that changed all of us and how we view the world...Seeing pictures still makes me teary-eyed....

8. Almost every Tueday 2001-2002: Eating at BW's with Elizabeth and Bryan for 25 cent wing night...great times....

9. September - December 2002: Interning for US Senator Mike DeWine - a great man with a huge heart!

10. December 2002: Graduated from Wright State with a BA in Political Science...Done. Awesome.

11. March 26, 2003: Jason, My Mom, Elizabeth and I drove home from Florida through the night to make it to my Pappaw's birthday party. Deep down we knew it was probably his last. Fun trip that included Elizabeth kicking my mom in the head in her sleep...well, sort of asleep....

12. June 15, 2003: The day my Pappaw died. My Mammaw, Dad, Mom, Uncles and cousins gathered around his hospital bed as they stopped the ventilator. We held his hand as he went to be with Jesus. Out of all the people I've lost in my life, I miss him the most. I can still hear his laugh and still think about calling him on election nights....

13. June 18, 2003: I began my career at Elizabeth's New Life Center not knowing how the women I worked with would be a measure of the woman I hope to be. Vivian, Rosie, Rachel, Heather and a host of others are amazing and I thank God for blessing me with their influence and friendship.

14. September 20, 2004: After wanting a baby for so long, God gave us the beautiful surprise of two faint lines on a home pregnancy test. I was at work and showed my friend Erica, who could barely see the lines with me...I went up stairs to the chapel and had a perfect moment of thanks to God that I will never forget.

15. May 30, 2005: The day Julia was born and I became a Momma. I remember the whole day vividly...Seeing and hearing her for the first time was heavenly.... She was beautiful and perfect and remains a light in my life...I love her....

16. December 29, 2006: Owen Robert Presher made his debut! Being a momma with my sister is amazing. I love that our kids get to grow up together! Griffin David came May 19 2009 adding to the fun!

17. July 28, 2007: We moved into our new house in Lebanon, Ohio. We spent a long time working on making a house we could grow in...We love it so much - not because of what it is, but because of what it holds together...our family...

18: Thanksgiving Day 2007: We had been wanting another child for some time, but were told for that month, it was not possible....Weeks went by after that appt. and I had this nagging feeling that "they" were wrong. So that morning, I took a pregnancy test and BAM! - two lines immediately...I about fell over...thankful for another life to love.

19. December 14, 2007: Joanna and Matt were married...another great man to add to the family.

20: June 28, 2008: Joshua Robert made me a mommy for the second time. Having a little cuddly, wonderfully squishy boy is amazing. He is such a gift and I feel so blessed to be in the front row of his life.

21. November 13, 2009: So this day hasn't happened yet...but I know it will be a day I won't forget. Saying good bye to the decade that made me a wife, a mom, and hopefully a better person is strange...I can't imagine the 30's beating this, but God is good and I can truly say I'm right where I want to be....

So bring it on! (((and for those of you who actually made it to the end of this, thanks!)))

Pretty if Pink

So a few months ago, Julia was hanging out with me as I was getting ready for the day. As usual, she was Miss Chitty Chatty and as usual I took it in stride.

(((next paragraph borders on TMI)))

So as I am putting my shirt on, Julia spots the "love lines" (aka stretch marks) Joshua's whooping 8 lb5 oz babiness had left on the sides of my stomach. There aren't many, but I cannot lie and say they don't exist...

"Whoa, mommy! What are those?" pointing to the light pink proof of my motherhood.

"Well, because Joshua was soooo big in mommie's tummy, my skin stretched to make sure he had enough room."

Pat answer - intentionally pat. Thank you for the reminder, Julia....

I looked down at her and she was smiling... at the sides of my stomach. Huh?

"Wow, mommy. They are soooo pretty!" she whispered in almost jealous wonderment of how lucky I was.

So I took the opportunity to let her know that one day when she gets to be a mommy she'll have "pretty" pink lines on her body, too. I'm sure she can hardly wait.

The Silver Bride and Me

"Things have certainly changed since 1957, haven't they?" Ms. Faye asked me with her eyes sparkling like the diamond on her finger.

I answered "yes" on assumption that traditions, protocols, etc. have, indeed, been altered or even thrown out the window since her last trip down the aisle 52 years ago, but, I assured her "proper" these days is truly whatever you want it to be...as long as it makes your day special.

Her first husband had passed away several years ago and Ms. Faye was lucky enough to find a new love at almost 70 yrs. old. Her wedding day was here and she was as radiant of a bride as I have ever seen. She was wearing a silver flowing floor length gown that matched her silver hair. Her hands were shaking with nerves as she applied her mascara and her daughter looked on with tears. It was quite a change from the nervous daughter and crying mother I am used to seeing.

Her fiance, Ralph, stood outside the sanctuary chatting with his ushers, seventy-something year old Paul and eighty-something year old Roy. Most of the time, ushers have barely graduated high school. These men served in WW2 and Korea. When the time came, they were readily assisting guests to their seats and lit the candelabras with ease. I like to think watching their friends unite in marriage brought back feelings of youth and memories of yester-year as they are entering the winter of their lives.

Right before she walked down the aisle, her son-in-law, who stood beside her, took her arm with one arm and placed his other hand on her hand and said, "I love you." Such is the circle of life, I thought, so privileged to be a witness to this moment.

So Faye met Ralph at the alter and I know they will live happily ever after...

Life is so precious, as are the people in it - and I was so grateful for this reminder. It keeps going and wants us to take it for all that it is and I really hope that I am.....

The Weekend of All Weekends!

I am making a mental note that the 2nd weekend of October is my favorite weekend of the entire year! It is a perfect mix of jacket weather and fall colors. Then, when you add an afternoon Mommy-Julia date plus a night time bon fire with all my sisters and co., it's just a win-win-win-winner of a time!

Saturday afternoon, Julia and I went exploring downtown Lebanon. We ate lunch at the Golden Lamb (one of my favorite places to eat). It's a nice restaurant and the aura must have hit Julia as she, for the first time in her life, placed a cloth napkin on her lap by herself w/out even being asked. We sat for 30 minutes or so chatting and laughing...I told her stories of the old building and how I used to work there when I was in school. She listened so intently and could hardly wait for the check so we could go explore the hotel rooms up-stairs.

After wandering the hotel and museum, we went to the library and got some books and then hit the Broadway antique stores. She was in love with it all. Each booth brought more questions and imaginations of how people "used to use these things." It was if we were the only people in the world...Truly, moments I hope to never forget.

The date ended with a Signature Hazelnut Hot Chocolate from Starbucks....perfect...

That night my parents hosted a bon fire :) All of my sisters were in town and that definitely called for a party! My dad hooked up a "wagon" to his John Deere and Jason took the kids on a hay ride. Joshua wasn't so sure about the wagon, but had fun sitting on Daddy's lap driving.

While I am never quite ready for Monday, this weekend was extra-specially hard to say good-bye to.

What Will They Say?

Tomorrow I go back to work full time until March - and I'm warning all my work friends now, I might be a little bit of a mess for a little bit of a while...

I do love my job. It's fun even when it's not fun. I love negotiating, wheelin' and dealin', and the whole analytics of what I do - and most of all, I love helping our business owners make more $$$ year after year...and of course, making some $$$ myself isn't too bad either...

So, while I am happy about where I am going, leaving my babies all week makes me unbearably sad. I know they will be fine. Julia will go to Pre-K and after care at a school she loves (and heck, it might do her some good ;). Joshua will spend M-W at my dear friend Heather's home (which if ever there was a place I'd want my baby to be outside of family, it's there) - and then Th/F with Nanna (who is THE GREATEST in the world).

The whole "it's harder on you, than it is on them" is totally true. They are in great hands and I am so thankful for that - - but will be counting down the days until they are back in mine.

So I enter this week just sad. I'll miss them so much...but know come March, everything will be alright, right?